Anger Management – Programmed Behavior Causes Many Anger Problems


When you think about it, has anyone ever taught you how to deal with anger? If you are like most people, you are given any type of anger management training only after your anger has exploded into inappropriate words and actions and caused considerable harm to yourself and to others. Maybe even physical harm.

Like many other valuable self-help areas, learning to cope with anger is one of those important topics that is never taught in schools or colleges. Yet, it should be obvious that if you are to lead a life of accomplishment while getting along well with other people, anger management is a key skill to have at all times.

If you currently suffer from bouts of uncontrolled anger, it makes sense that you should understand how to express anger appropriately and manage it well before it damages you and others.

In our society, we are usually taught to bottle up our feelings. Our feelings remain buried within us during casual contacts with others. Maybe you don’t think that is the case with you.

Well, think about what you would say when someone asks you “How are you doing?” You answer? “I’m fine, thank you.” That’s the answer hard-wired into your brain as the only socially acceptable response.

Now think of a situation where something has really upset you and it shows in your facial expression in an obvious manner. Think of your response when someone asks you “Is there something wrong?” What would your answer be? Obviously, you would say, “No, nothing” or something to that effect.

Why do you say that? It’s because you have been programmed through the years to “keep your cool” and not express emotions. Why? Because expressing emotions may make you vulnerable.

The truth is, going through life bottling up your emotions all the time just does not work well. If that were not the case, we would not have many of the problems society is riddled with – issues like violence in the workplace, at home, etc.

If we were not programmed to constantly bury our emotions, we would likely be more productive people, better and more nurturing parents, spouses. And we would probably be considerably healthier as well.

This is not to say that an excessive or inappropriate show of emotions at all times is a good alternative. It’s not. It is just that if everyone were to stop keeping all their feelings locked up inside and behaving in a preset manner, life would be far easier. People would have healthy, happy relationships and enjoy a richer life.

It is true that the current way of burying emotions does work in the short and medium run. Unfortunately, emotions refuse to remain buried forever.

At some point, they come out in a destructive manner, like the explosive flow of water when a dam filled beyond capacity bursts. That is when a variety of problems like spouse abuse, violence, lack of motivation, alcoholism and more raise their ugly heads.

Anger management is a skill that needs to be taught to everyone, right from school. Its continued neglect is at the root of many problems in society today.

James Westt writes about a variety of topics, although he specializes in self help and relationships. To check out some of his newest articles about the Amway water filter and about arsenic water filter ideas, follow the previous links.


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